So if you’ve talked to me recently in any form, you’ll know that I’ve been on a bit of a “older kids rock” theme. I’ve lived my entire adult life with a little one to take care of and the liberation of having older kids who don’t require help them with basic needs has been amazing. I know many crave having little ones once their kids start to get older but here’s 10 reasons why I like having older kids.
1.) They go to bed.
The nightly struggles with little ones SUCK. It’s exhausting and frustrating and you dread the nightly struggles. At our house, we say it’s bedtime and the kids go. That’s it. No elaborate routine, no struggles, no “but I need something else” stuff. They just go.
2.) We get to sleep more.
Not only do the kids sleep easier but now we do too. Double bonus! Andy and I are both big fans of naps and though the kids don’t usually nap, we don’t have to plan our weekend naps around the kids sleep schedules and coordinate it somehow. We just tell the kids we’re laying down for a bit and they entertain themselves. Also, sleeping in on a weekend morning is no big deal since they just do whatever they want until we’re up. Do you know how many years I didn’t get to sleep in? 12. I like this way better.
3.) Communication through words, not tears.
The relief of hearing “I’m really frustrated” instead of “wahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!” is so refreshing. A kid who articulates what they are feeling. What a concept.
4.) More couple time.
Andy and I have been together for 13 years and the whole time has involved a child. We didn’t have many dates alone and our time together often involved having a child with us. The chance to just say “hey, kids, we’re heading out to dinner and a movie. We’ll be back in 3 or 4 hours.” is AMAZING. We pay the kids a bit while we’re away but it’s so easy to do without having to call a sitter and arrange it all.
5.) They are a help, not a hindrance.
When we moved back to Texas, my blood pressure barely moved. Not only was moving a familiar routine for us but the kids did much of their own stuff. They helped pack, they were great road trip companions and they helped unload. When they were younger, we had to worry about taking care of them on top of the logistics of moving which just added to the stress. Not so much anymore.
6.) Less luggage.
I’m a notoriously heavy packer. I like to plan for anything and everything. I bring food, entertainment, first aid, every medicine you can name, etc. As the kids get older, I pack less. They aren’t as picky, pack their own entertainment, don’t need mom’s stuff so much. Blake and I only took a backpack each on our Disneyland trip. When we went to Puerto Rico when he was 1, we took 9 checked bags. NINE. Somebody asked us at the airport “are you moving here?” Yeah, we did temporarily. Speaking of, we should really try to go back to Puerto Rico and see what it’s like without lugging a screaming, non-sleeping infant around.
7.) They get sick less.
We used to be at the doctor’s office at least once a month. Now we usually go once a year for checkups. That rocks.
8.) You can DO stuff with them.
We do stuff all the time with the kids – movies, miniature golf, travel, etc. So many fewer limitations. My current favorite is the ability to attend shows with them. Hoping to get tickets to Mary Poppins very soon.
9.) More time to be yourself.
When you’re busy taking care of someone else’s needs all the time, there’s very little time to take care of your own. It’s also easy to get lost and forget what your interests are and what makes you happy. This was especially true having a child so young as I hadn’t really figured all of that out ahead of time. Now I have the time to read a book, to write blog posts, to watch a TV show that’s just for me and not them, exercise, etc.
10.) Learning to like them, not just love them.
It’s not a very popular thing for a mom to say but I find it hard to like little ones when so much of the time is spent struggling and stressed out. Of course I loved them but I find them so likeable now.
Compiling this list reminded me of the popular essay by Anna Quindlen. An excerpt:
The books said to be relaxed and I was often tense, matter-of-fact and I was sometimes over the top. And look how it all turned out. I wound up with the three people I like best in the world, who have done more than anyone to excavate my essential humanity. That’s what the books never told me. I was bound and determined to learn from the experts. It just took me a while to figure out who the experts were.
Amen.
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I like that excerpt.
So, I do understand these advantages and now having only one child in diapers has seemed like a remarkable change. BUT, I’m still that mom who cries over each milestone…..feels sad at that idea of no more babies. I’ve started selling all of our baby gear to an upscale resale shop here in town. It’s very hard for me. I’d give anything for another bebe.
I know. I’m crazy. It’s OK. We already knew that.
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Hi, I just found you through twitter. And I wanted to say now that I’ve read this post. I CAN’T WAIT! I have a three year old. And even though my mom says “don’t ever say you want them to grow up” I do. I really do! I just wish the stinkin’ kid would sleep in past 7! That would be nice.
Anyway, I subcribed to your feed! But it changes the page all funky. So I’ll have to re-do and add you to my blog list. Hope you don’t mind!!
Miranda
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Hi Miranda,
Thank GOD somebody agrees. We weren’t all born to love taking care of little ones. I think you’ll get there in the next couple of years but those first few years are exhausting for sure. It gets better, promise.
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Casey,
Does not compute.
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