So, Internet, last week’s email exchange with Andy was a popular blog post. Only problem is that it mortified Andy that his words were put on my blog. He wouldn’t really email me back this week, lest he be fodder for yet another blog post.
HOWEVER, the recent talk about how people might think we have a good marriage was getting to him so he emailed me the 10 things about him that drive me crazy. He wanted me to do a whole blog post about it to prove that we don’t have a good marriage so when he complains about this blog post, I’ll just say “BUT YOU TOLD ME TO.”
From: “Albert, Andrew”
To: Shannon Albert
Sent: Thu, January 28, 2010 12:38:55 PM
Subject: blog comments
Reading some blog comments…mostly previous ones. I think you may need a blog post about the things about me that drive you crazy. If these people are looking to us/me for what could be….they need to raise their bar.
Items you could talk about:
- My passive-aggressive-ness
- yawning
- not supporting you
- football-shaped head
- cheapness
- lack of doing chores
- unthoughtful gifts when they are required
- watching too much tv (especially football season)
- inability to cart the kids around during the day
- turning into dr. jeckle [sic] around my family when it comes to you
Those are the things I can think of in a couple minutes….let me know if you need more to choose from.
—————————————————————————————–
From: Shannon Albert
Sent: Thursday, January 28, 2010 12:41 PM
To: Albert, Andrew
Subject: Re: blog comments
omg, that’s a GREAT list. Glad to know you’re aware of those things. However, how does that provide value to anybody?
—————————————————————————————–
From: “Albert, Andrew”
To: Shannon Albert
Sent: Thu, January 28, 2010 12:45:25 PM
Subject: RE: blog comments
Just that you don’t complain about me unless it is to me. All these people are thinking we have such a great relationship and think they can have it to. The value is that stuff doesn’t exist unless it is a 2hr movie.
I am glad that I beat out deadbeat teenagers on the last blog…that might be true.
—————————————————————————————–
From: Shannon Albert
Sent: Thursday, January 28, 2010 12:51 PM
To: Albert, Andrew
Subject: Re: blog comments
I don’t like inviting other people into our relationship by discussing anything with them. If there was anything huge like you were out a on a meth binge, I’d have to say something about that obvz but yawning? omg, Divorce Court, here we come!
I’d like to thank your parents right now for making you think any disagreement is a bad one but look where that got *them*.
—————————————————————————————–
From: “Albert, Andrew”
To: Shannon Albert
Sent: Thu, January 28, 2010 12:54:02 PM
Subject: RE: blog comments
And yet you invite them in on our personal email (aka relationship)….interesting.
Called both my parents and they said your [sic] welcome. Thanks for pointing out another thing to add to the list.
—————————————————————————————–
From: Shannon Albert
Sent: Thursday, January 28, 2010 12:57 PM
To: Albert, Andrew
Subject: Re: blog comments
But see, posting our email exchange wasn’t pointing out your flaws as much as it was pointing how funny you are despite your engineer-ness.
—————————————————————————————–
From: “Albert, Andrew”
To: Shannon Albert
Sent: Thu, January 28, 2010 1:00:01 PM
Subject: RE: blog comments
Yes, but my original point is that you are only pointing out the good things and people want that. Believe me, I only want the good parts of you too. 
—————————————————————————————–
From: Shannon Albert
Sent: Thursday, January 28, 2010 2:41 PM
To: Albert, Andrew
Subject: Re: blog comments
Name 1.
—————————————————————————————–
From: “Albert, Andrew”
To: Shannon Albert
Sent: Thu, January 28, 2010 2:42:55 PM
Subject: RE: blog comments
Good parts? Ok, I’m stumped. Oh yeah, hair.
—————————————————————————————–
From: Shannon Albert
Sent: Thursday, January 28, 2010 2:44 PM
To: Albert, Andrew
Subject: Re: blog comments
My hair is all yours then. See how easy that was?
—————————————————————————————–
From: “Albert, Andrew”
To: Shannon Albert
Sent: Thu, January 28, 2010 2:45:52 PM
Subject: RE: blog comments
Hmmm…now I’m wondering how to get your body without all that crap you have inside.
—————————————————————————————–
From: Shannon Albert
Sent: Thursday, January 28, 2010 2:58 PM
To: Albert, Andrew
Subject: Re: blog comments
Are we talking about murder here or something less violent?
—————————————————————————————–
From: “Albert, Andrew”
To: Shannon Albert
Sent: Thu, January 28, 2010 3:01:14 PM
Subject: RE: blog comments
Close…but yeah less violent. The body would have to be warm and stay preserved. Ok, that sounds worse than murder.
More of a stepford wife type thing and not complain about my original list.
—————————————————————————————–
From: Shannon Albert
Sent: Thursday, January 28, 2010 3:52 PM
To: Albert, Andrew
Subject: Re: blog comments
Just like your mom.
—————————————————————————————–
From: “Albert, Andrew”
To: Shannon Albert
Sent: Thu, January 28, 2010 3:53:00 PM
Subject: RE: blog comments
No, like your mom.
—————————————————————————————–
From: Shannon Albert
Sent: Thursday, January 28, 2010 3:55 PM
To: Albert, Andrew
Subject: Re: blog comments
My mom doesn’t complain? Next thing you know, you’re going to tell me that unicorns aren’t real.
—————————————————————————————–
From: “Albert, Andrew”
To: Shannon Albert
Sent: Thu, January 28, 2010 3:58:15 PM
Subject: RE: blog comments
Unicorns are real, that is what I rode in on when I proposed to you. All your blog friends will want that in a relationship next.
—————————————————————————————–
From: Shannon Albert
Sent: Thursday, January 28, 2010 4:00 PM
To: Albert, Andrew
Subject: Re: blog comments
Is that so unreasonable?
—————————————————————————————–
From: “Albert, Andrew”
To: Shannon Albert
Sent: Thu, January 28, 2010 4:02:41 PM
Subject: RE: blog comments
You could just keep embellishing and make some friends break up with their husbands because I am just so great and we are so happy. You have Oprah power now.
—————————————————————————————–
From: Shannon Albert
Sent: Thursday, January 28, 2010 4:04 PM
To: Albert, Andrew
Subject: Re: blog comments
People don’t look at Oprah and go “whoa, I want the relationship she has!” because they think she’s a lesbian so your comparison is flattering but it falls apart upon closer analysis.
—————————————————————————————–
From: “Albert, Andrew”
To: Shannon Albert
Sent: Thu, January 28, 2010 4:08:35 PM
Subject: RE: blog comments
I was referring to her/your power over the masses not her relationship. In that case.. I’m Oprah, your [sic] Steadman and Megan Fox is Gayle
—————————————————————————————–
So, Andy got his wish that I post the list though maybe he didn’t quite want it in this form because I’m still not actually going to talk bad about him. And also, I’m being murdered or being put under the Tom Cruise Stepford wife spell and somehow Oprah and Megan Fox are involved and I’m beginning to think the secret to our marriage is just confusion.
Updated:
Related posts:
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
We all love Andy. And I think that most people *do* realize that all couples fight. That is normal. What some people may not have is the fun conversation and banter that you two seem to have . Of course, maybe you really don’t and these are all just made up emails? Just kidding. I know they are not.
So just tell Andy that we know your marriage is not perfect. Then he’ll feel better. I’d like to see a marriage that is. One that is not in a 2 hour movie. ‘Cuz really I think it just doesn’t exist.
[Reply]
Shannon Reply:
January 29th, 2010 at 11:10 am
I don’t try to make things seem perfect but I don’t want to bitch about him either. There is a middle ground and that’s where I am.
[Reply]
I’m going to hold out for a knight on a unicorn now. Thanks, Andy.
[Reply]
Shannon Reply:
January 29th, 2010 at 11:09 am
Just a warning that they might look like very tall guys who drive clown cars (Andy’s 6′4″ and drove an RX7 when we were dating).
[Reply]
I think it’s awesome that y’all have this sense of humor between the two of you.
Football shaped head, really?!?! Picture please.
[Reply]
Shannon Reply:
January 29th, 2010 at 11:02 am
Your wish has been granted.
[Reply]
HA!! Love it.
[Reply]
My stomach hurts. I’m writhing in pain over here. Losing….too many….calories…from laughing. Help!
I laughed the hardest when he volunteered a list. How sweet of him to care about the feelings of your blog friends. What a sweet, caring man. A perfect husband. Flawless.
Anyways, a good list, yes. But, yawning? Fill me in on that. Tony’s sneezes annoy the shit out of me, so I might understand.
He does have a total football head. Glad he realizes this.
Keep these coming. Looks like there’s a lot more where this came from…
[Reply]
Shannon Reply:
January 29th, 2010 at 11:06 am
omg, #11 is now sneezing. Lawd have mercy.
Yawn explanation: he walks in the door from work and it is a non-stop Yawn Fest which means I do a lot of “are we that boring?” and “do you yawn at work?” type of interrogations every evening.
[Reply]
The overwhelming nerd factor between the two of you is shocking. I think I’d claw my eyes out if I had to witness an actual conversation.
THAT, Shannon, was sarcasm. But, yall are nerds.
A little disturbed at Andy’s suggesting your body be warm and well preserved.
[Reply]
Shannon Reply:
January 29th, 2010 at 11:08 am
I’m disturbed as well but Andy is more disturbed by my constant use of the word murder. I just can’t stop. When Blake gets excited about something he makes a clicking sound so like last night when he setup a wizard store, he was constantly clicking whilst explaining it to us. Andy said he knew this email conversation was going to end up on the blog once I mentioned the word murder because it’s the equivalent of Blake’s clicking.
[Reply]
Best. Post. Yet.
It was entertaining to say the least.
[Reply]
I think the actual presence of the football superimposed over his head tends to sway people a little in their opinion making. I’d have to see said photo sans football to determine whether he does indeed actually have a football-shaped head.
[Reply]
First of all this was not intended to make light of a serious situation. Which sounds more than necessary. Just don’t look to our relationship for guidance. We try to be happy together at least once a year…too bad it includes alcohol and us not being of sound mind.
My football head is actually the profile, but thanks for letting me know no matter how I turn it, I can’t cover it up. With that pic I’m glad I didn’t put hairy butt on the list. I’ll send Sass a pic for proof. Who could pass up these physical features?
Finally the list was for choices, not the whole list. I am glad you didn’t correct my grammar like last time. Improvement in reality!
Fyi, the whole list was made up…you can’t get better than this. And I love my wife and all her flaws…that is a lot of love.
[Reply]
Sass Reply:
January 29th, 2010 at 5:09 pm
That’s a lot of words for a football head.
[Reply]
Andy Reply:
January 29th, 2010 at 8:29 pm
Sorry the pic is going to Sara….I saw the S and thought it was Sass who was asking for proof. For fun, I’ll send Sass and Tony one on Christmas.
[Reply]
Sass Reply:
January 29th, 2010 at 8:49 pm
She’s a lucky girl! We’ll be looking forward to it.
[Reply]
Love when the husbands play, too. Awesome, Andy. Football head.
[Reply]
This is freaking hilarious!!! I am totally showing this to Adam so he will see that I am not the only wife that “asks” her husband to do things and gets “pissed” when it doesn’t get done.
Adam’s drinking from a can drives me INSANE!!!! Like I might punch him in the face, crazy. Oh I can’t wait to show him this.
Hahahahahahaha!
[Reply]
New blog request – personal communication with your friends!
One that I can think of off the top of my head. Conversation with Casey. Loved how the email string came to completion.
Or any with Kam, Sass, KIRL, or other embarrassing ones.
[Reply]
Karen Reply:
January 29th, 2010 at 7:23 pm
KIRL?!?! I love it. I think it means I’m kind of a big deal when I’m an acronym.
[Reply]
1. Why did I get called out?
2. Last time I email Shannon while having wine.
3. Andy, if you were a smart man, you’d not deter said conversations. Completing them is most favored in this house.
[Reply]
Oh. Mah. Gaw.
[Reply]
Love it!
[Reply]